George MacDonald is to be read every day! Diary of an Old Soul can be viewed for absolute freedom on the internet thanks to Project Gutenberg.
‘Tis–shall thy will be done for me?–or mine,
And I be made a thing not after thine–
My own, and dear in paltriest details?
Shall I be born of God, or of mere man?
Be made like Christ, or on some other plan?–
I let all run:–set thou and trim my sails;
Home then my course, let blow whatever gales.
‘Tis something thus to think, and half to trust–
But, ah! my very heart, God-born, should lie
Spread to the light, clean, clear of mire and rust,
And like a sponge drink the divine sunbeams.
What resolution then, strong, swift, and high!
What pure devotion, or to live or die!
And in my sleep, what true, what perfect dreams!
There is a misty twilight of the soul,
A sickly eclipse, low brooding o’er a man,
When the poor brain is as an empty bowl,
And the thought-spirit, weariful and wan,
Turning from that which yet it loves the best,
Sinks moveless, with life-poverty opprest:–
Watch then, O Lord, thy feebly glimmering coal.
I would not have it so. Weary and worn,
Why not to thee run straight, and be at rest?
Motherward, with toy new, or garment torn,
The child that late forsook her changeless breast,
Runs to home’s heart, the heaven that’s heavenliest:
In joy or sorrow, feebleness or might,
Peace or commotion, be thou, Father, my delight.
Yesterday, I felt like a man without a country.
I wandered around in a half-daze… I was distraught and dejected. My poor laptop, in which I may have invested an undue amount of my soul, had ceased working. I realized that I was probably being overdependent upon a machine for my well-being and life in general. A computer… a box with electronic components inside and a luminous screen for displaying virtual sights and speakers for emitting virtual sounds… had become my Ring of Power.
It happened like this..
After building up the static electricity on my body from sitting in a plastic chair, I moseyed on back to my computer and went to brighten the screen by pushing a key on the keyboard. Before I managed to touch said key, a tiny bolt of high-voltage (low amperage) static electricity leapt from my finger and into the innards of my unfortunate computer, promptly shutting it down. I tried to reboot my laptop, but to no avail. Thoughts swirled inside my skull… horrible thoughts… and hunger pangs made my belly ache. I immersed myself in doing other things for the rest of the day… but I couldn’t shake the creeping dread that I had just killed Lazarus.
What I had really done, was upset my computer’s internal PMU (Power Management Unit). A simple keystroke combination, thanks to Samuel Shepard piquing my interest, did the job. Lazarus lives agian!
Lazarus was the pet name for my iBook G4, the one thing I used more in life than my own body. Today, after sitting for some time in a plastic chair, I got up and pressed a key on Lazarus… causing a static shock which immediately shut him down. I cannot get him back up again. Now I know the angst that Holly must be going through. God is faithful, though, I’m sure I’ll live through this. Who knows… maybe I’ll be able to get a new computer in the process 