Roy the Rooster

Well today bloggers I’ve been to the LAND FILL! I had to take the garbage over there because my incompetent brother… and forgetful me, we both forgot to set the garbage cans out by the road on Monday night and consequently my dad told us that “you’d better find a way to get rid of it… PRONTO.” So I made Ian pay me $9 and I took the trash to the Landfill. Now, for those of you who have never seen the landfill, or for that matter even heard of much less know what a landfill is: it is a big hill with crap in it. Basically it is where all of your trash goes to no matter who you have come pick it up. The county drops it all off there, most disposal companies don’t have their own dumps so they take it to The Wood County Landfill. The place is a mountain. It’s huge, and smelly. So, I drove up with my van, laden with garbage cans (also very smelly, making my van reek of rotting cabbage and coffee grounds). I drove up onto the scale and got weighed, then proceeded to drive over next to the PIT. That is where pathetic dweebs like myself go to chuck their garbage over the edge because they were too stupid to just drag it out to the road when they should have… even though it would only take 2 minutes to do so- STUPID STUPID STUPID! So anyway I got rid of it and returned to the scale and got weighed again and charged $9 by a smelly unshaven man who was too busy having a conversation with his coworker to notice that I had laid my money in the window counter. It was okay though, because I shouted loudly “excuse me sir! I need to pay for dumping my smelly banana peels now, and I need to go and puke over there in that patch of grass so could you please hurry it up?” Well he gave me a grin that only the Grim Reaper could give and said something that rhymes with “go tuck yourself in bed” and I was as good as gold!

So then I drove back, admiring the massive windmills that are almost complete. Yeah, that’s right Don Quixote: WINDMILLS. They’re being built right next to the landfill and their going to provide some of the future ‘clean energy’ for Northwest Ohio. They’re awesome, I love big things that have sharp edges to them and stand immovable against the sky, proclaiming the invincible will of man to dominate all of nature forever. I then went to work and loogied in a couple of salads of customers who’d been rude to me before snacking on croutons and making small talk with all of the female employees that Panera has. I’m not single anymore and more and more I feel this wonderful comfort around them like “haha, I’m invincible and YOU can’t even flirt with me now because I thought you were cool but not cool and in fact quite detestable but I will play your silly game and let you staple my shirt-OW!” Then they all started talking about things that girls can talk about when MEN AREN’T PRESENT, LIKE I WAS. So I scooted away and made some feeble attempts to wipe off the already clean counter before running into the back to have a few sips of a warm Dr. Pepper/Fruit Punch suicide. Mmmmmm.
~Joel

Kevlarsj?l

It is getting late and I need to get some sleep but my blog has suffered as of late. The former spark is gone, the former light is dimmed, the former taste is dulled, the former touch is now less than electric. How can I reawaken the fiery passion of blogging again? How can I come back to my love and say to her “woo, you are lookin’ good baby!” and get this poor suffering relationship jump-started again?

How can I do this?

By giving you all a plug for THE BEST DANCE INVENTED SINCE THE FOURTH OF JULY.

DANCE DANCE DANCE until the sun comes up

So yeah on November 15th there will be a freaking awesome dance at Covenant Church on Haskins Road, in Bowling Green, OH. You are all invited of course! Cost of admission will be, I’m 99% sure, $3 per person. And there will be a massive email invitation going out to a bunch of people at some point but even if you don’t get one you will be invited to this thang!

There will be all sorts of music, from classical to rap to rock and roll to punk to *pop* and bubble gum! The only common thread is that all of the songs will be the BEST, selected personally by Joel Manahan and Jeremy Cordy.

Dress will be formal and guys can wear suits but there is no pressure, you don’t have to come in Armani or anything like that. Girls will be wearing dresses but I’ve heard from several young ladies already that the term “dress” is such a blanket term and there should be more clarification on the issue. I guess I would just say don’t go and BUY an expensive dress just for this dance, but sure yeah wear a gown, I guess that is the kind of dress, don’t wear sweatpants and a greasy beater with a scratch’n’sniff Spongebob sticker on it. That would be kind of wierd.

Now I’m going to go ahead and say that there will be a limited amount of decoration going on since Jer and I aren’t exactly the artistic morons that we appear to be so if anyone feels particularly inspired they should email me or email Jer.

Gawd I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about dancing again! Woooo! Kick over the amps and rawk out. Then use a bunch of words with the letter ‘w’ in them that don’t usually have the letter ‘w’ in them. “Wow, you’wre findwing owt that when it’s whindy owtside things can’t blow furthwer thwan they would when it’s nawt whindy owt.”

More’s the pity.

~Joel